I decided to write this in light of it being
NaBloPoMo. These are a list of things I see on blogs that annoy me and I would please like you all to stop. Now.
1. If you do a food blog and post pictures, please look at these photos before posting them. Grey meat is unappetizing as is coagulated cheese on top of aforementioned grey meat.
2. Do not use the word orgasm or any of it’s synonyms when referring to food. All I can picture is George Costanza in bed, screwing his girlfriend while eating a pastrami sandwich. Again, not appetizing.
3. If you’re opening a can of Cambell’s anything, that’s not homemade. It’s Sandra Lee made.
4. Supposably is not a word. In any language.
5. Use spell check. It’s free and easy. Keep it employed.
6. Don’t be too wordy. Read what you’ve written. If you fall asleep at the keyboard, it’s too long. Edit.
7. If you must keep it long, make it entertaining. People read for fun.
8. If you can’t make it entertaining make it educational. I love to learn stuff while reading a blog. That’s how I learned to knit!
9. Please have your setting set to write black letters on white or light backgrounds. White on black gives me googly eyes and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
10. Include pictures. Oodles and oodles of pictures. They don’t have to be perfect but in focus would be nice.
11. Don’t kvetch all the time. Once in a while, a post of complaints is fine. As readers we like to commiserate but more than once in a while, you need a therapist not a blog.
12. If talking about your children please don’t call them “the boy” or “the girl” If you’re too freaked to use their real names give them fake ones or use their initials. Calling them “the child” makes them sound like they’re foreign and not yours.
13. Have contests. Lots and lots of contests. Mostly yarn giveaways but others will do fine too.
14. Don’t put too many ads in the sidebars. It’s too distracting and makes me forget why I came to your blog.
15. Last but not least, have fun with it. If you’re not having fun writing it, believe me, we’re not having fun reading it.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading these. And I hope I stick to my Do Not Do list. I need to learn to practice what I preach. I can promise no grey meat photos though! Gag.